kicking and screaming

yesterday, my sweet-cheeked little love bug muffin threw her first, markedly ginormous TANTRUM. not to say i'll never see them get worse, because i'm sure that little ball of fire has it in her, but as one of her first tantrums ever, this one was something to take note of.  i mean, we're talking head-arched-vein-popping-red-faced-alligator-tear-filled-eyes-beyond-over-tired screaming.  and why, you might ask?  well, because i said, "no".  TO GOLDFISH.  that's right--no goldfish, peyton, because it's 5:30pm and your loving mother wants you to eat a MEAL in 15 minutes, full of protien, vitamins, nutrients, fiber, and LOVE.  FULL OF LOVE, CHILD!  sorry that 2 handfuls of rainbow color-dyed, cheddar cheese flavored, salt covered, smiling crumbs doesn't cut it tonight.  maybe next meal.

but apparently i'd said "no" one too many times this day.  i'll admit, it was the perfect storm.  we'd had a little friend of hers over all day (super well-behaved, nonetheless, which caused me to raise my expectations of my little girl about a notch or 4) so my attention had been split all day--something my current only-child is not used tor ight now.  the peanut was short on sleep, tired from a LOT of play, and undergoing some seriously extreme teething.  it's that tooth that you see in your own mouth and that thought crosses your mind--gosh, if i WERE a big bad wolf, that'd be THE TOOTH i'd have to conceal most when trying to redirect little red's attention to something other than the fact that i was going to eat her sometime in the next 30-60 minutes, depending on how the evening unfolded.  apparently this tooth comes with avengence, as well as with...atantrum.

i chose the love-it-out method for this particular "event".  okay--this method chose me.  apparently i'm a sucker for a frustrated toddler, because all i could do was hold her and say, "mommy's here and i know you're having a hard time--go ahead, girl, do what you need to do.  oh yeah, but still no goldfish".  it was not a fun thing to watch, but i felt like the high pitched constant crying was her way of saying "i'm not in the mood to 'use my words', right now, mom, so don't even bother."   i finally sat down because Girl is getting heavy.  she sat on my lap crying about goldfish.  she got tired of the lap scene real quick, and began the struggle of Getting Away. i put her on the ground so she could finish this thing up how she wanted to--away from me. crying louder, she proceeded to head That Way.  but, not more than seconds later, as she tried to catch her breath so she could let out another wail about the stinking goldfish, she almost instinctively turned back around and walked staright toward me, arms up, looking for more cuddles so she could--you guessed it, cry about goldfish for a few minutes longer.  so she did.

eventually the dust settled, she ate her dinner (which, high-five to a stubborn mom, did NOT include goldfish AT ALL) and bath and bed QUICKLY followed, with some great help from daddy. 

i'm pretty sure i've done that before.  maybe not the kicking and screaming, and maybe not necessarily about goldfish, but i've had my share of tantrums. as an adult. and likely about something diasspointingly similar to goldfish. :-/  oh, such a sad realization...  i can only hope that my own instincts would lead me back, arms up, to a loving Father that knows goldfish are not what i need right now. if this little picture is any indication of what a parent feels for his/her child, i understand how all i want for her is what's best for her, and although nothing's going to change in that moment, and she still won't be getting goldfish in place of dinner, i'm there for her, i'm not going anywhere, and i'd just love it if she'd take up my offer of a loving embrace full of the comfort i know she wants and needs.  now if only i could be as constant as our God...

Psalm 102:17 - He will respond to the prayer of the destitute; he will not despise their plea.
Psalm 102:27 - [But] you remain the same, and your years will never end. 

i'm thankful for the fresh perspective God gives me through these parenting "experiences".  it helps take the sting off of what could very easily be considered a rough day with my munchkin, and resets me in my own ever-growing journey of following Him.