Ragnar Training Update

For those following along at home, here are a few tid-bits about what is going on with my Ragnar training.

I have been at this for about six weeks now.  When I started, I could barely run a mile without feeling like my lungs were going to explode and my heart pop right of my chest where it would then land in front of me and I could literally watch myself step on it.  How's that for a picture?  But now, I am up to about 5.5 miles (27 miles so far this month!) at a time and feel pretty dang good through most of it.  I am battling some serious calf and shin tightness, but with a fair amount of icing and stretching, its getting easier to pack on the miles each week.  The other night I was in about mile 3 when I totally stopped thinking about how far I had run, or how far I still needed to go, and just got into the groove of running.  I had some good tunes going, a good stride and felt really good about just running.  It wasn't super fast by comparison to actual runners, but it was huge for me.  5.5 miles has been my longest run to date, but each week that number grows just a little bit more.  This week I am slated to take that 5.5 to 6 and mix in a few sprint drills to help run faster longer.  Let's hope the shins and calves keep up with my pace.

All the running is actually becoming fun and something I (sort of) look forward to each week.  While I still have a long way to go before I reach my goal or before I would actually call myself a runner, I am starting to understand it a little more.  It is definitely something that I can see myself doing more of, even past this upcoming relay.  At first it kind of sucked out there all by myself running on the sidewalk, but as I get more and more into it, it really is cleansing.  I find myself praying, making mental checklists of things I either need to do or still want to do, and just enjoying being outside.  Since most of my runs are in the evening after work, I am looking forward to getting out on some trails during the day now that I feel like I can actually make it back from wherever I might go.  This running thing is more fun than I had originally thought!  I might, dare I say it, try to sign up for a few races a year to keep something in front of me to help keep motivated to run and get better at running.  We'll see how I feel after I actually run a ton of miles in one day.  

This particular race is to benefit FaithQuest Missions and the work they do sending people all across the planet to spread The Word.  I have committed to raise $1,000.00 for this race and still have a ways to go.  This is where I need your help.  No, I'm not asking you to run with me (although if you want to I sure won't stop you!).  I am asking you to come along side me and donate a little bit to an organization trying to do their part in spreading God's Word.  Each year, FathQuest sends people all over the world and has seen tremendous impact through their efforts.  I encourage you to take a look at their website and see for yourself the network they have created and the work God is doing through them.  When you're done there, please go on over to my page to donate to help me help them.

Four years later

When I was a kid I knew that I wanted to get married and have kids.  I didn’t know what that really looked like or how to make it happen, I just knew I wanted it to happen.  As I grew older I began to define what that ultimate relationship looked like and began to define how to make it happen.  There was a bit of trial and error involved through the years, but through all the ups and downs I learned something from each one that further defined what I wanted in a marriage.

There were a few times I gave up looking entirely.  I knew it would happen eventually, but my ideal had grown more and more specific, and I grew tired of not finding what I was looking for.  It kind of sucks knowing what you want sometimes.  It definitely makes you think twice about settling for less.

I can still remember meeting Gigi.  We were introduced and I remember thinking, “She’s cute.” and then getting back to work.  The next day I invited her to lunch and we had a great time talking and getting to know each other.  It just so happened that there was a Laker game on that night so after a long workday we went down to the local brewery and watched the game and got to know each other a bit more.  I had a feeling there was something there and the more I got to know her, the more I found that picture of what I wanted being filled in day after day. 

Today is our 4-year wedding anniversary.  The picture I had in my mind before we met has expanded from an 8x10 on my nightstand, to a mural on the side of a building.  Every day with this woman is amazing.  And the kid we made together… forget about it.  I couldn’t be more blessed by these two.  We have our ups and downs like every relationship does, but the downs are so far above 'down' it’s ridiculous.  Never does a day go by that I am not thankful that God put her in my life.  I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us and look forward to every second of discovering what that looks like.

Happy Anniversary, Gigi!!!  I love you more than anything!!!

stuff :)

here to blab--just need to get myself back into the habit of updating the blogstermagoo.

life in february 2013 is as follows, in no particular order of importance...

josh is currently in training mode to run in the ragnar relay (basically an insane group of men go run an insane amount of miles over the course of 24 hours, taking turns and driving a van slowly along side their "mates". so strange, but for a neat cause.) so, this means we are eating healthier (some days) and prioritizing workouts a little more than usual--or should i say, in the way we should ALWAYS be prioritizing them, but we don't. it's feeling good, but changes the amount of time we have together, especially because i can't join him on the runs due to a heel injury. (i came down with a plantar-fasciitis type of injury back in october, probably caused by wearing the wrong shoes all day everyday AND walking incorrectly just because i never mastered the skill... in any case, if i'm not careful it feels like i'm walking on a dagger, so i'm officially relegated to the BIKE of all terrible things in this world, until further notice. praying i learn to enjoy that...) in any case, he is still trying to pull some funding/sponsorships together for the race, so i'm gonna insert my plug right here--can you consider throwing a few bucks his way for the race???  for those of you that have so conveniently memorized your credit card number, the expiration date, the 3-digit code on the back, and how your name reads on the card,  (i know of no one that has done such a thing.......) this online way of giving would be super easy... especially if you have  few bucks in the bank to back it up :) other than that, his job at broadcom is going really well, and he's happy going to work everyday.  can ya ask for much more?! :)

peyton is a riot, as usual. she is SUCH a funny child.  her goofiness is a complete giveaway that she is our kid...   she's definitely going through a clingy stage right now, though, (or so they say it's a stage) and as much as i struggle with how hard it is to get my own agenda done during the day, i mostly love all the extra hugs and squeezes i get as a result of this constant need for mommy to "hold-you" ;) i'm learning that peyton has a lot of "josh" in her--she's got a bit more of the introspective-ness (shoot, not a word, i'm getting the red line under that one, but i'm gonna go with it so because i think it'll help you understand what i'm talking about) in her personality than i have.  i can just see her face as she's processing social situations, assessing them before making any moves, and cautiously approaching people or things knowing exactly her purpose in WHY she's going to go ahead and proceed.  unlike me, who just jumps into any social situation, often without thinking twice what may go wrong or what nonsense may fall out of my mouth before thinking it all the way through. (insert visual of lots and lots of word vomit here...)  it's been so neat seeing her personality form and grow, but more to come about that on a separate post about the peanut--scheduled for "one day soon".

thursday marks 4 years of wedded bliss for me and the hubbers! no, i'm not being sarcastic, but no, i'm also not trying to rub anything in.  josh and i don't have a perfect marriage by any means, but we both, wholeheartedly, work at it every chance we get, and we have THE MOST AMAZING SUPPORT SYSTEM and THE MOST AMAZING GOD IN THE MIDDLE OF IT that i credit for really helping make our marriage as strong as it is.  and as fun as it is.  well, actually, josh and i may bring the fun in on our own, but i'll give credit to the aforementioned on that as well :)

we have plans to do a sweet vacation in hawaii this summer with my parents, sister, and brother.  i can't even begin to tell you how excited i am to relive the days of old when we'd all travel together--this hasn't happened since i was... 13, maybe? and to have my favorite husband and favorite kid join is just going to be amahhhhzing :) YAY! this definitely presents a challenge of SAVING for this trip--a newer concept for me now that we are down to one salary... we are trying to be diligent with our dough these days, but it's hard when all these bills you don't expect keep popping up (ER visits, car issues, vet recommendations, the list goes on...)! we're working at it slowly but surely, and hope to have enough saved up before the trip to be able to enjoy it knowing how hard we worked at not spending it in the months before.

i am in such a season of contentment (thank you JESUS) and i will make claim to that because it's unusual for me, and totally welcomed when it comes.  God has been working in my heart for a good time now, and in such a visible (to-me) way that His blessings AND trials continue to encourage me.  life won't always be hunky-dory, but its solid now and i'm grateful for that.  so i chose to snapshot it this evening in this simple little post so i don't forget the little details and feelings that aren't often blogged about.

closing shop for the night. :) thanks for reading!

Challenge Accepted!

It’s 2013, can you freaking believe it?!  When I was a kid I would have sworn that we would all have flying cars and be travelling daily to outer space by now.  What I wouldn’t have sworn to was that I would have an amazing wife and daughter that I would happily take a bullet for.  It goes to show that life isn’t always predictable.   But that’s what makes it fun, right?  I mean, I’ve never been a runner.  Sure I’ve run before, but I would never have called myself a runner.  I’ve secretly always wanted to be a runner, but never wanted to feel like I’m about to die.  (They seem to go hand-in-hand from my perspective.) I have enjoyed going for a run from time-to-time and have even come to enjoy running long distances when I’m in shape for it.   Never, though, in my wildest imagination would I have ever thought I would actually enlist to run multiple times in a 24-hour period.  But that’s what I did. 

Back in November, 2012 my buddy Jordan Gash asked me if I would join his team for the Ragnar Relay in April 2013.  Lucky for him I had just made a resolution to say ‘Yes’ to more things, so I said yes.  This means that I am going to have to run 3 legs of a 36-leg relay race, spanning 200 miles, over the course of 24-hours.  What a challenge!! If I play my cards right and am nice to my team captain (Jordan), I’m hoping to end up with a spot that gives me a total of a little over 14 miles spread out over 3 different legs.  I am looking forward to pushing myself, experiencing something new, and just having a good time.  But most of all I am excited to be a part of Jordan’s team and helping to raise some money for his organization: FaithQuest Missions. 

Jordan is a missionary for FaithQuest Missions.  He takes churches and people all over the world to spread the Word of God and share the Good News of Jesus Christ.  FaithQuest is determined to be a catalyst to mobilize people and their churches to put their faith into action. They are ready for action and follow the principals of Mark 16:15 and Matthew 28:19-20 and step into a great faith-adventure trip to places where together they can love God, love others, and have a blast!  If you have ever met Jordan Gash there is no way you can’t have a blast.  For more information on his organization head on over to his website and check it out. 

As part of my commitment to this organization, not only did I sign up to run a heck-of-a lot of miles, but I also signed up to raise $1,000 for them.  This is where you come in.  Just like I can’t run 200 miles in 24-hours on my own, I can’t afford to shell out $1,000 all willy-nilly like.  I need your help.  If you can, I am asking you to help support this organization and their goals by donating whatever you can toward their cause, and ultimately toward the pain I will endure to run all those miles.  It would be awesome if we can surpass the $1,000 commitment and do something really special for a great cause. 

I am really looking forward to this challenge in my life.  I know it’s going to be a lot of hard work, but knowing that my hard work is going to help send people around the world to further the Kingdom of God is totally worth every second of training, every drop of sweat, and every moment I feel like I am going to die.  Care to join me in my journey?

santa visits cresa!

we are SO FORTUNATE to have my company bring santa TO US year after year.  this year's event unfolded as follows...

 

 



here he comes!!!

 

the kids are awestruck... i think us newer parents are, too... this is TOO FUN!

 

AAAAND THERE IT IS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.  we'll be framing this one...  

"better now that mommy is protecting me... santa keeps asking what i want for christmas, and i keep redirecting the converstion to all the wonderful christmas decorations i see! even though santa's seen it all... "

got the shot :) merry Christmas, 2012!

oh, peyton, don't forget, santa brought you something!!

santa just sneak attacked his way in for the grab.  peyton's face screams, "who sees this and isn't doing anything about it...!?!?!?" 

 

"daddy, it was terrible, i had to SIT ON HIS LAP!!!!  "

 

"maaaahhhhmmeeeee, make it betterrrrrrrr...."

 

 all in all, it was a sucessful visit with santa.  we got to play with our friends, do lots of crafts, and enjoy some scrumptious holiday treats.

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 

kicking and screaming

yesterday, my sweet-cheeked little love bug muffin threw her first, markedly ginormous TANTRUM. not to say i'll never see them get worse, because i'm sure that little ball of fire has it in her, but as one of her first tantrums ever, this one was something to take note of.  i mean, we're talking head-arched-vein-popping-red-faced-alligator-tear-filled-eyes-beyond-over-tired screaming.  and why, you might ask?  well, because i said, "no".  TO GOLDFISH.  that's right--no goldfish, peyton, because it's 5:30pm and your loving mother wants you to eat a MEAL in 15 minutes, full of protien, vitamins, nutrients, fiber, and LOVE.  FULL OF LOVE, CHILD!  sorry that 2 handfuls of rainbow color-dyed, cheddar cheese flavored, salt covered, smiling crumbs doesn't cut it tonight.  maybe next meal.

but apparently i'd said "no" one too many times this day.  i'll admit, it was the perfect storm.  we'd had a little friend of hers over all day (super well-behaved, nonetheless, which caused me to raise my expectations of my little girl about a notch or 4) so my attention had been split all day--something my current only-child is not used tor ight now.  the peanut was short on sleep, tired from a LOT of play, and undergoing some seriously extreme teething.  it's that tooth that you see in your own mouth and that thought crosses your mind--gosh, if i WERE a big bad wolf, that'd be THE TOOTH i'd have to conceal most when trying to redirect little red's attention to something other than the fact that i was going to eat her sometime in the next 30-60 minutes, depending on how the evening unfolded.  apparently this tooth comes with avengence, as well as with...atantrum.

i chose the love-it-out method for this particular "event".  okay--this method chose me.  apparently i'm a sucker for a frustrated toddler, because all i could do was hold her and say, "mommy's here and i know you're having a hard time--go ahead, girl, do what you need to do.  oh yeah, but still no goldfish".  it was not a fun thing to watch, but i felt like the high pitched constant crying was her way of saying "i'm not in the mood to 'use my words', right now, mom, so don't even bother."   i finally sat down because Girl is getting heavy.  she sat on my lap crying about goldfish.  she got tired of the lap scene real quick, and began the struggle of Getting Away. i put her on the ground so she could finish this thing up how she wanted to--away from me. crying louder, she proceeded to head That Way.  but, not more than seconds later, as she tried to catch her breath so she could let out another wail about the stinking goldfish, she almost instinctively turned back around and walked staright toward me, arms up, looking for more cuddles so she could--you guessed it, cry about goldfish for a few minutes longer.  so she did.

eventually the dust settled, she ate her dinner (which, high-five to a stubborn mom, did NOT include goldfish AT ALL) and bath and bed QUICKLY followed, with some great help from daddy. 

i'm pretty sure i've done that before.  maybe not the kicking and screaming, and maybe not necessarily about goldfish, but i've had my share of tantrums. as an adult. and likely about something diasspointingly similar to goldfish. :-/  oh, such a sad realization...  i can only hope that my own instincts would lead me back, arms up, to a loving Father that knows goldfish are not what i need right now. if this little picture is any indication of what a parent feels for his/her child, i understand how all i want for her is what's best for her, and although nothing's going to change in that moment, and she still won't be getting goldfish in place of dinner, i'm there for her, i'm not going anywhere, and i'd just love it if she'd take up my offer of a loving embrace full of the comfort i know she wants and needs.  now if only i could be as constant as our God...

Psalm 102:17 - He will respond to the prayer of the destitute; he will not despise their plea.
Psalm 102:27 - [But] you remain the same, and your years will never end. 

i'm thankful for the fresh perspective God gives me through these parenting "experiences".  it helps take the sting off of what could very easily be considered a rough day with my munchkin, and resets me in my own ever-growing journey of following Him. 

coming Home

i know you all take your iphones to the bathroom with you to check facebook and catch up on blogs, so don't be shy about reading this entire post. IT WILL BE LONG--i know it and haven't even begun writing it.

so, in the absence of our what used to be a good habit of updating the blog, some major life changes have taken place in josh and my lives. if you'll allow me, i'll start at the beginning.  and no offense, but a big reason i'm writing this is to document this story for myself to look back on in the future, so if you find it overly detailed, then just practice your high school skimming skills.  i know you have it in ya.

when josh and i decided to get pregnant, we knew we would both have to go back to work.  for josh, that was (mostly) obvious, and for me, it was something i hoped maybe wouldn't be true, but wasn't shocked at all, and definitely not enough of a deterrent to stop me from wanting to try for kids at this time in our lives.  oh, not to mention, i LOVED my job, felt rewarded by it everyday, and knew that if anyone could "do it", i could. bring on "working-mom" status. ain't no thang.

fast-forward 12 months later, and out pops peyton-the-peanut, the most beautiful thing i've ever laid eyes on, and oh my, was i IN LOVE.  (for those of you counting, no, i was not pregnant for 12 months, it just took us 3 to get a winner...) after a 3 month long maternity leave, one in which my mind TOTALLY changed about going back to work, i dug up the courage to do what i had committed to, and hit the ground running again.

and i did it, somewhat successfully, although always with a struggle, for 10 and a half long and arduous months.

right around then was when i decided that although nana was doing a tremendous job of watching the peanut, loving on her, and bonding with her, it might be time for day care.  yup.  peyton needed something else.  friends, maybe?  baby interaction, i think?  i dunno.  she needed a change, and daycare it would be...! tough decision, but i was ready for it. i called up the daycare we'd found back when we were looking, and was told she could start right away!  perfect!

so you may be as surprised as i was when i hung up the phone and said to myself, "great, that settles it, it's officially time for me to come home from work and be a stay at home mommy."   EXCUSE ME, ME?  WHAT DID YOU/I JUST SAY? THAT'S PURE CRAZY TALK. WE JUST DECIDED ON DAYCARE!! GET BACK TO WORK, YOU NONSENSE-SPITTER. 
moving on...

i called mom that afternoon to tell her that daycare was ready for peyton on monday (with high hopes that mom wouldn't be upset about the change, but mostly, wouldn't be offended.  she wasn't--she understood--kind of).  and there on the phone, mid sentence with mom, as i'm driving under the parking garage stick that threatens to fall on you if you don't gun it after it opens, i pause.  because as i begin to tell her about the weird thought that crossed my mind, and tell her all the reasons WHY it was just really so odd, i realize that i physically CANNOT speak AND listen at the same time.  and GOD WAS SPEAKING TO ME.  in the most audible voice i've ever heard from Him. and He said (and rather sternly, i might add), "gigi, you need to TAKE A STEP OF FAITH.  you need to TRUST ME, and TRUST that I'LL PROVIDE."  whoa. um, okay, sure, riiggghhtt...  except-except-except...GODDDDD, have you SEEN our bills?  our bank account? josh's job situation? trust me, Lord, i want to come home--i desire it more than anything, but this is CRAZY TALK.  we've already run the numbers and we know it doesn't work.  it won't work--it just can't--it doesn't add up. we'll be out on the streets well before christmas.

i had been praying intentionally about peyton's potential upcoming transition from nana's to day care over the past few weeks, and through that had gotten to a great place of communion with God. looking back, i KNOW that's why i was able to hear him as clearly as i did that day.  it was so clear that i flat out couldn't ignore it.   i that evening, i shared my experience with josh, told him what i was thinking and feeling, and in a drop of a hat, got the HUGE NOD to jump on it--he was 150% on board!  "i think that's a great idea, hun. let's do it!"  oh, but babe, are you sure?? i mean, what about all those LOGICAL things that should stop us???!!?!

if we were really going to do this, we were going to need God in a lot of ways.  how would i step away from my job? how would we take the financial hit of going from two salaries down to one?  what would i tell all the people i had made promises to about continuing to work? myself, my husband, my boss, even my daughter, who would benefit from the money i brought home--i'd effectively committed myself to them!  and what would i do with all that time?  that time that i, for the last 6 years, have devoted so heavily to my career, my projects, clients, bosses, and co-workers?  and what if i came home only to find that i really wasn't cut out to be a stay at home mom?  what if i thought it was -- wait for it -- BORING?  but at the end of the day, i knew that more than anything, i yearned to be home with my daughter.  i wanted to be who she relied on; i wanted to know her better than anyone else knew her, i wanted to be the person she could trust for her every need here on earth.  and i wanted to teach her day in and day out about God, love, family, friends, bumps & bruises, and life in general.  i knew from the bottom of my heart that she'd benefit more from my being home than from the money  (i think/hope).  and maybe my husband would too...

in the days and weeks (and ultimately months) that followed, God showed me A LOT MORE than i'd ever expected to see.  through a lot of reading, prayer and reflection, he brought to my attention how much i'd been focusing on the wrong things the past few years (okay, a good chunk of my adult life, really).  i'd been wanting and working (HARD) for the goods of this world--the nice car, the stylish home, the cool gadgets, the office with the view, the clothes and shoes, the shopping trips, the restaurants, the vacations, the lavish business trips, the confidence of a well-respected business woman, the attention, the ability to spend when i wanted, how i wanted, and on what i wanted.  now, none of those things are bad, per se, but they aren't what God wanted me focused on.  not in this season, at least.  maybe they could come as a side dish to working hard, but i began to feel like God didn't really care what i was working on at work anymore.  (and quite frankly, i was losing that passion, too, anyway.) "For everything in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--comes not from the Father but from the world." 1 John 2: 16.   He wanted me to focus on Him more and on me, less.  if i could learn more about Him, i could tell others more about Him, tell peyton more about Him, and put my time and energy into learning and growing in my faith, understanding the signficance of His sacrifice, and living daily as if it mattered.  because it absolutely does.  it matters more than i think i've even just begun to realize.  and it matters so much that nothing else matters without it! 

so what i first thought had so much to do with being home with my baby ended up having so much more to do with realizing that i matter less and He matters more.  and although i've always "believed" what the Bible says, i'm only now learning more about what it means and how we are to live.  josh and i are learning to place our trust in Him on a day by day, moment by moment basis. and the fruits of that mindset have been an intracately executed plan that did indeed allow me to come home.  over the course of the next three months, josh got a wonderful new job (that he LOVES, by the way), we lowered expenses we had no idea that were even possible to lower, and i've found a happy meduim of being available to work, if needed by myself or my company, but it is no longer the focus of my time and mind.  i am filled with overwhelming gratitude each day that i get to wake up and spend with my daughter.  i love being able to serve my husband at home--not just with food on the table, but also with a clean house and a list of "to-do's" that for once, get "to-done"--something that just "had to give" when i was working full time.  peyton is the coolest little kid, josh is the sweetest man and husband, and i'm the most blessed woman that gets to enjoy those two gifts to their fullest right now...

i know full well that the path i've been afforded is not by my own doing, and i also know it means not that i'm in full favor of God--sheesh, i ruin this beautiful plan of His day after day being flat out stupid--but i'm trusting that He's got big plans for our family, i'm thankful that this is part of our journey, and i'll take it one day at a time willing to be His tool to do His work.

i will mess up. privately. publicly. all ways, really. in fact, by the time you read this, i can almost guarantee i've been selfish, greedy, proud, and lustful for something this world has to offer.  but God is with me, forgiving me, guiding me, and teaching me.  and i hope you'll continue to travel this journey with me as i find out more about what God wants from ME. and... maybe.. if i may be so bold... you... too... ;)

for a little while, i get to be "it"!

a few days ago, peyton went down for late afternoon nap, and in an effort to not wake her from her unusually light, stuffy-nosed induced sleep, i locked myself in my bedroom across the house and just started cleaning--quietly--with no access to the kitchen to do noisy dishes, no access to the front door to take out the trash, no access to the family room to accidentally drop her annoying learning toys. just stuck in my our room--cleaning.

ugh, josh gets so mad when i say "my". he's all, "babe, OUR wedding. OUR baby. OUR room. " FINE, i fold. i'll go ahead and assume this applies to all things of mine. OUR laundry, OUR vacuuming, OUR tv remote and OUR blow-drying of hair and doing makeup!? solid. :)

anyway, there i am, cleaning, by myself, in one room of the house, with no distraction from any other clutter infested part of OUR house. can you say PURE JOY? i can :)  so, what a perfect time to call my mom and chit-chat?!  after we talk shop (aka peyton's eating and sleeping stats), we sidetrack and i find myself sharing with her all that i envision peyton and i doing together as she continues to grow up. peyton. not my mom. well, my mom, too, i guess.

the things i want for peyton and i are the same things i remember of my mom and i. there was so much peace and security in JUST BEING with my mom as a kid.  i had so much fun playing with her when my older brother and sister were in school and it was just the two of us.  i'd sit in the car listening as she sang along to michael bolton and gloria estevan, driving across town to run errands.  we'd hit up party city and the toy store, the grocery store, the oil change place.  we'd stop for lunch and share arby's roast beef sandwiches, then continue to jcpenney for some new clothes.  i'd wait patiently swaying my little legs back and forth under the chair as i waited for what seemed like hours as she got a teeth cleaning in. and i don't remember minding one second of it.  because what was i going to do without her?  mom was my life.  my answer to everything.  my problem solver, my security blanket. my question answerer, my make-it-all-better-gal, my jukebox, entertainer, and resting place. if it weren't for the fast that i was 4, it would have been considered dependant to an unhealthy point on the emotional scale.  but, it wasn't.  it was amazing. life was good.  hanging with mom was all i knew and what made me happiest.  my brother and sister tell me how much i was glued to mom as a kid (as if it was a bad thing) and my dad tells me no one other than family could pick me up or i'd freak.  it's okay.  i don't regret it.  i'm thankful for that time with my mom.  and now, i get to pass that on. 

"where mommy go?", peyton says to the air when i've momentarily disappeared to the other room.  "mommy's in your room putting dirty clothes away, babe."  clack, clack, clack, go her footsteps as i hear her approach.  "mommeeeee!" she squeals, with a smile. "mommy hode-jew, mommy hug-yeww." and after a big fall and some alligator tears, "mommmmmmm, uh, uh, uh, eeeeeeeee, uh, uh, uh." :(

and when we're walking side by side, and out of nowhere she throws her little hand in the air FULLY EXPECTING that mommy will be there to grab it.  she knows i'm there. and she finds security in that. 

it feels good.  it feels REALLY good. and i'm not taking one bit of this for granted.

oh my...

don't even get me started on how sad i am that i've just let this blog go :(  thankful it doesn't show in the way of pants that don't fit or the inability to walk up a hill without huffing and puffing the way "letting yourself go" shows, but it's still not easy to start writing again. 

our last post was at the beginning of summer--peyton doesn't even look like that baby in the pictures anymore!  so much has happened, and i want to share ALL of it.  and i will, in time, share the details of how God has blessed our family these past few months, but for now--the short version.

peyton is 18 months old, today!  she's walking, running, climbing, talking, signing, talking  listening, talking, singing, talking, whistling, and talking.  SHE IS SO FUN!! josh has a (fairly) new job at Broadcom as a sr. buyer in their procurement department, and thoroughly enjoying it!  june is learning what it's like to be treated like a well-cared-for dog instead of a decently-cared-for child--poor thing. and me?  i'm busy being josh's wife, peyton's mommy, junie's walker and petter, and this home's dust picker upper.  oh, and that job thing? well, i was able to step aside from that for a little (undetermined) while. 

we are joyful, healthy, growing, inspired, loved and faithful during this season of our lives.  and i plan to do a better job of sharing our family stories, struggles, and excitement--so bare with me as i work to gear this sucker back up!!

hopeful,
gigi

summer's a-coming!

summer is on it's way. to us, that means early evening walks, trips to the park, and days at the pool (and hopefully the beach, too). i can't wait!

our one year old!!!

one word: BLESSED!

can you believe this time last year we were just two fools waitin' on a kid to pop out?! who'd've thunk we'd be SOOOO in love with a 28" tall peanut?! this has been the best year of our lives (especially of peyton's life...) and we are so thankful to be blessed with such an amazing little girl.

peyton reese is ONE -- she's walking 5-8 steps at a time (although only after some serious coercing...), she's talking (about 20-30 words, sometimes 2 at a time!!) and signing another 10 or so. she is FUNNY, and has been given some amazing comedic timing, as she times her condesending laughs a perfect second and a half after all other laughing has stopped ("such a lame joke, mom... not even funny--but here's a pity laugh.") that's our sarcastic girl!! she's enjoying bathtime and pooltime, but not a huge fan of eating time (although you wouldn't know it with those rolls on her legs). after a challenging year, she's finally sleeping through the night (yay/phew/'bout time, girl). she's a bit of a momma's girl when she's tired or overwhelmed, but otherwise plays well by herself and with other babies and adults. she LOVES june--or "good girl", as she calls her, and pets her just like she sees the big people pet her. her 8 teeth make up the most amazing cheeser, and the soft puffy cheeks don't hurt, either! she's brown eyed, may be left handed, and a total cuddle bug.

i still can't believe we had anything to do with making this amazing human. but then, josh kindly reminds me... (wink wink)

happy first birthday, peyton reese. you make our world go round!!

remember when....

remember back in the day, before the chaos, before the diapers, before the exhaustion--back when i used to blog!? ohhhh, the days.... i remember those. i remember having time to myself when i got home from work. i remember having a clean house. i remember meeting my guy for dinner at a different restaurant every night. i remember not rushing home for a 7:30 bedtime. i remember never using the phrase, "well, the nap schedule...blah blah blah."

well, i'll admit that was ONE season, but definitely not THIS season. and i'm thankful for each.

i've done a farily decent job of forgetting josh and i have a blog :-/ it just got pushed to the side, along with vacuuming and dusting... i mean... yeah. but it's been a full year since the peanut was born, and it's time to start FINDING TIME to keep this blog up to date, not just with pictures, but also with stories and random happenings, as i once did. i'm excited to blabber again :)

so with that, i'll leave you with a snipet of what's been taking up so much time. and i couldn't be happier!

elevenMONTHS

peanut of my heart! you were a WILD RIDE to photograph this month. you with your standing, stepping, twisting, reaching, arching, and unsticking... you are something else! :) and to think 11 months ago you sat there like a sack of potatoes. i know that in just a short month or two you'll climb down that chair yourself, and walk to the other side of the house without me. good thing this monthly photo experiment is only planned for a year--at least on that chair!


munchkin, you really continue to amaze us. do you know that the second you fall asleep, i miss your smile and activity!? and the second you wake up, i miss your sweet, sleepy, heavy breath?! oh, the problems i have--will they ever go away!?

daddy and i are having a blast with you and your blooming personality, or should i say "ever-expanding knowledge of things you've officially decided you do and don't want..."! ;-) we think the world of you, sweet pea, and love you always!

xoxo
mommy n daddy

happy birthday, dad!

without you, "hide and seek" would have just been "hide". without you, i'd have had to walk on sand dollars instead of clinging to your neck. without you, i'd have no clue how to travel. without you, i'd never understand how magical a moon could be. without you, i'd throw like a girl. without you, i'd think "hot" was "hot" and "cold" was "cold. LAME. without you, "no matter what" would just end there.

i'm beyond thankful for every day the Good Man Upstairs has given us together. :)
i love you, dad.
happy birthday!!

CRAZYaboutYOU

IT WAS HUGE! you on both knees, a bright, shiny rock in little black box, june running wild, flashes in the background, big hugs and kisses, champagne, family, friends, excitement and joy in ridiculous amounts!

but i remember the sweet, loving embrace we had after we walked into the surprise party.

IT WAS HUGE! you at one end of the aisle, me at the other, people smiling, a train following me, my girls to my left, your guys to my right, champagne, family, friends, excitement and joy in ridiculous amounts!

but i remember running into your arms behind the bushes after the ceremony--our own little moment together. "we really did it!" we said...

IT WAS HUGE! you holding my hand tightly, counting 1-2-3-PUSH, doctor's yelling, nurses running, grandparents crying, tequila celebration, family, friends, excitement and joy in ridiculous amounts!

but i remember the gentle kisses on my forehead as we stared lovingly together at our little blessing.

THANKS FOR THE HUGE, LIFE CHANGING MOMENTS.

but, even more so, thanks for those special little moments i cling to that remind me of how blessed we are to be each other's companions in this crazy world!

i love you, baby. happy 3 year anniversary!